Lean on shared office experiences everyone recognises — the printer, the meetings, the mysterious fridge smells — rather than private jokes. And end with something kind, so the laugh doesn’t sound like relief.
How to write it
- Joke about the job, the office, or yourself — never about why they’re leaving.
- Keep the roast light enough to read out at leaving drinks.
- Finish with one sincere sentence after the joke.
Office-life jokes
Who will reply-all with “thanks!” to company announcements now? Truly, an end of an era.
Congratulations on escaping. Please send help, and also snacks.
I can’t believe you’re leaving us for a company with a working printer. Traitor. Good luck!
Your new job better have better coffee, otherwise this is all for nothing.
We’ll miss your ability to make a 30-minute meeting run 90. Good luck!
You’re leaving at the worst time: right after we finally learned how to use the new expenses tool.
Light roasts (with a sincere ending)
I’ll miss your terrible puns. I won’t admit that again, so enjoy it. Good luck in the new role.
Without you, I’ll have to start reading my own emails. Thank you for everything.
You were the only person who laughed at my jokes. Who will pretend now? Going to miss you.
Please take your sad desk plant with you. And our best wishes, obviously.
Your Slack status said ‘in a meeting’ for three years straight. Enjoy your new calendar. We’ll miss you.
The fridge will be safer without you, but the office won’t be as fun.
Playful goodbyes
We’re not crying, it’s just the office air conditioning.
Remember us when you’re rich and famous. Or at least when you’re hiring.
Good luck finding coworkers as weird and wonderful as us. You won’t, but good luck.
Don’t forget the little people. Specifically me. I’m the little people.
We’re throwing you a farewell party, mostly as an excuse for cake. Also, we’ll miss you.
You’re officially our favourite ex-coworker. The bar was low, but you cleared it beautifully.
One-liners for the card
Go be someone else’s problem. We’ll miss you.
Leaving us? Bold move. Good luck!
So long, and thanks for all the stand-ups.
Plot twist: we’ll actually miss you.
Don’t be a stranger. Be a slightly-less-frequent colleague.
What to avoid
- Jokes about being fired, salary, or the company’s problems.
- Roasts that only make sense to two people in the room.
- Humour when the departure is due to layoffs or a hard personal situation.
Organising the whole card? Our farewell card guide covers timing and who to invite.